First blog post

This being very first post on my new blog (YEY), I’ll let you guys know what it is going to be about and then you can decide if it is your cup of tea on not.

Without a doubt, writing is one of those things that I love. Considering myself rather creative I still do not pay as much attention to my other projects as I do to writing.

I write lists, everyday tasks (if I don’t it surly won’t get done), recipes, notes to myself and others tend to get scattered in places, journals, short stories and now I am also working on my very first book!

I guess that this blog will play part of a sort of internet journal then. It might interest you, it might not, but if you leave me feedback I’ll know  what to write about more and what I should probably keep to myself (but hey, no promises).

Most of all this will be good practice for me, to write regularly, in an interesting manner and regardless of chaos that sometimes is my life.

Let us then begin! Enjoy.

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Daily Prompt: Gray

via Daily Prompt: Gray

He walked through the town aimlessly. It was middle of a summer yet it certainly did not feel like such. Sun was hiding behind thick and heavy clouds threatening to let rain drop any minute now. He saw people scrambling away in hurry, merchants packing their goods, mothers ushering their children to walk faster. Rich smell of rain was hanging in the atmosphere, air motionless in anticipation of the upcoming downpour.

It was his day off, first in a long time, and since a little rain never bothered him, he seemed to be the only one that was not in a hurry.

His eyes traveled all around, watching his little town seemingly afraid of the rain. It was mid day and yet everything seemed to turn dark and dull as first thunder could be heard. This place, always so bright and full of vibrant colors was all of the sudden deprived of its glow when the first rain droplets littered the earth.

Stopping in his tracks he looked up and closing his eyes, he let the water which increased in intensity fall on him, drenching his clothing completely in matter of minutes. His messy silver hair which usually seemed to defy gravity stack to his face in wet locks.

Looking down he saw his own reflection in a dark shop window.

Everything was gray. The sky deprived of sun, the ground on which he walked on, the buildings all around him. And his hair was gray too, same as his skin which usually was just pale, now seemed gray.

The more he looked at his reflection the more he realized that he did not really mind that much.

So he continued on his aimless journey submerged in a world of gray.

 

Thank you for reading my story, please make sure to leave a wee comment and let me know what you though of it! 🙂

Daily Prompt: Zip!

via Daily Prompt: Zip

Zip! “My mommy is a hero!”

Zip! “She knows magic too!”

Zip! “I swear! I swear!”

Zip! “One swoosh of her hand and ZIP! the dragons fly!”

Zip! “And she makes food appear!”

Zip! “You’ve got to believe me! ZIP! she moves her hand and monsters under the bed disappear! It’s rue, it’s true”

Zip! “And I’m not scared. I swear my mom is a hero!”

 

Little Timmy was so proud of his mom when he recalled events of yesterday to his two friends in preschool. His mom stood nearby smiling with this delicate smile of hers, talking to teacher of the four-year-old’s about some adult matters that did not interest little Timmy in the slightest.

She thought back to yesterday and fondly remembered how she swooshed pigeons away from their way to the park. She remembered how fascinated he was when she took out packed punch from her bag. When they got home and it was time for bed, Timmy was scared of monsters under his bed again. For his sake she checked all the dark corners moving her hands back and forth which seemed to ensure and calm him every time, without fail.

Noticing how he always looked at her hands she made sure to make solid, visible movements, and swift, zipping hand gestures.

Overhearing discussion her son had with other children, she finally understood why. Lovely smile blossomed on her lips. Zip! Just like that.

 

 

Hope you enjoyed my little story, please make sure to leave me feedback in comments! 🙂

Daily Prompt: Avid

via Daily Prompt: Avid

Lyra was avid for information about the case. Her boys in the precinct knew there was no stopping her once she got a whiff of trail on the murder investigation. She was like a hound relentless in her search and just as fearsome. To anyone that knew her, it was impressive but not surprising that Lyra made detective in her young age.

The fact of how very keen she was in her search for clues, on how much enthusiasm she put in solving the mistery, almost completely voiding the human factor out of it was almost scary.

There was no ‘Please, bring me the file on Mr Donegal’s autopsy.’ It was ‘Please, bring me file on the corpse’s autopsy.’

There was no ‘Sorry I have to ask Mrs Donegal, but did your husband have any enemies?’ It was ‘Mrs Donegal, I need a list of associates of your dead one for yesterday.’

There was a reason why she was given a more person-orientated partner who usually dealt with witnesses, victims and family members of such.

There were people who were worried on how disconnected she is, yet regardless of that they let her do her thing, because she brought results back.

Lyra was their hound, she was their sniffer dog. Always knowing when people lied to her, always catching a false confession and witness full of lies. Noticing clues no-one else saw was her thing.

Yes, she was avid in her search, in her work. Was it entirely good? Was it entirely bad?

Is anything ever? They were have to wait and see.

Daily Prompt: Climbing

via Daily Prompt: Climbing

It’s dark. So dark in here. I look around uncertain. Where am I? – I wonder. How did I get here? I don’t know, don’t remember.

Funny that, I must have fallen into some sort of pit, but my memory is failing me. Maybe I’ve hit my head? I check for injuries, yet I find nothing out of order. I note that I do not feel any pain, which is good, right? I’m a little worried though. If I have fallen, there should be pain, and yet all I feel is numbness, and I still do not know where I’m at.

I find myself sitting in what seems like very bottom of this strange place, so I get up. Still nothing hurts, it just… takes a lot of effort. I try to look around again and see nothing in overpowering darkness. Suddenly I am tired from just this small effort. I snort at my own weakness.

Extending my arms I try to feel for a way out. There is cold rock all around me. It’s covered in moist moss and I can feel little living creatures slithering away from my touch. I think that I should be grossed out by them, yet again I feel nothing. Maybe I did hit my head over all?

I can tell that there is no way out of this pit other then up. But I’m so tired. Maybe I can just stay here? Maybe help will come? No – I tell myself. I can’t. No-one seems to be around, I am the only one who can help me.

Therefore, I push through exhaustion that is threatening to overcome my body, and in this overwhelming darkness I try to find any point in which I can start climbing. Most of the rocks I come across are smooth and wet, with no grip, as if I am not first one that was trying to get out. But then I find couple little rougher peaces, poking out just a little more.

I wipe my hands on my clothes hoping I’ll have enough grip and try lifting myself up. I find couple of more steady peaces of rock and I lift myself up. I feel little rush of butterflies in my stomach. Yes! I can do this! – I think to myself. And then I loose grip, a stone slips out from under my foot and I fall to the bottom again.

I sit there for a moment panting. I am even more tired now, with this wasted effort. I think to myself that I should just lie down and go to sleep. There is something in back of my head, however that won’t let me rest. I have to get up and try again.

That is exactly what I do. I get up, dust my bottom and try again. And again, and I’ve lost count how many times I’ve tried. And I want to give up, but I can’t.

I. Have. To. Climb.

So I try one more time, my fingers throbbing, my arms hurting. At least I can feel my body now. And It hurts. Yet, I am happy. Pain is better then nothingness – I think to myself.

I can’t wipe moisture off of my fingers any more. I know it’s because it is my own blood seeping through multiple cuts on my hands and arms. The stones and grooves are slippery, it seems however to give me more determination to keep going.

I know, if I fall one more time, I won’t have enough energy to try again. This thought scares me.

Up is the only way now.

And then my head hits something. Another obstacle? I try to stabilize myself enough to hold on to the rocks with just one hand and I investigate what it stopping me above. It seems soft and moist, with occasional long, tougher something. Leafs and roots? I try to rip through it and nearly loose my balance. Nearly. I stabilize myself once more and finally manage to get through what turns out to be forest bedding.

Then I feel a hand grabbing me, pulling me out of the pit those last couple of inches.

And I lie there, exhausted but happy. I can finally see sunshine going through tree tops and there is somebody beside me telling me: Good job. You climbed out of it.

Then I wake up. I sit in my bead and wonder if it really was just a dream. I look at my window. I can hear rain outside, but it doesn’t make me feel miserable. For first time in a long time I feel… ok.

 

Daily Prompt: Unravel

via Daily Prompt: Unravel

Decided to jump in on this one, for practice sake.

Unravel. Dictionary tells me that unravel is to undo twisted, knitted or woven threads, or to investigate and solve or explain something complicated and puzzling.

Personally, I feel that the latter meaning is closer to our lives. There often comes time when we have to unravel, undo twisted matters, thoughts or situations. How often do we find ourselves in places and times when this exact word fits to the situation in hand?

Life tends to be simple yet not easy, and while trying to make it easier on ourselves we often seem to complicate, twist and tangle it much more then it needs to be.

Therefore, take a step back taking deep breath, and grab the closest thread to you. Slowly but surly start untangling it. Easy. You can do this. You will eventually find all the threads, undo the knots in the situation and make it smooth once more.

Take it easy on yourself, unravel complicated life to make it simple, like a ball of pretty, new yarn. You will find that without those complicated knots in your life, it is easier to breath and to move.

Good luck.

Lost in Wonderland

How often do you feel like you are lost? In your mind, in your actions, in your day? How is it that one can know where they are and who they are with, yet still feel so utterly lost?

I am certain it is not just me. I do feel like I am lost an awful lot though. The fact that I let my mind wonder aimlessly does not help either. It is not that I see my mind-wondering as anything negative, quite on a contrary actually, however sometimes I do and up feeling out of place, or that I’m forgetting something important (the latter I blame mostly on pregnancy).

I personally believe that getting yourself lost sometimes, in your mind or body, can be helpful in a bigger picture.

How else is one to find oneself, or a purpose of once path or actions if they were never lost in the first place? You can not find something that isn’t lost. Therefore my conclusion: loose yourself sometimes so you can find yourself again.

On occasion I would go for long walks, in places I do not really know, and let my legs carry me somewhere unfamiliar, just so I can find my way home again. I do the same with my mind, let it soar and roam in usually untraveled corners of consciousness, because maybe, just maybe I might find something interesting there.

That is how new ideas are born and old once developed and mastered. How inspiration comes to find you when you don’t pursue it endlessly. When you relax and stop worrying and stressing over a project, an essay, whatever it might be, your mind has this wonderful ability to untangle itself like a magic ball of yarn.

This advice is mostly for myself. I’m working on a very ambitious writing project. I do want to publish my very first book by the time I reach my thirtieth birthday. I do have to admit, it is a struggle sometimes (correct: MOST of the time) to put what is in my head on paper. Like right now for example.

Therefore I think it is time for me to get lost. I’ll write to you again when I find myself.

Until then!

Caged bird with open hatch

Do you consider yourself a free bird? Maybe there was a stage of your life that you did, or maybe you wished you could have? Of course there are different ways of interpreting ‘a free bird’. I do not mean drinking and partying at every opportunity since I personally never considered such activities as freedom, but as of something rather opposite.

My freedom consisted of getting financially independent from my parents. I moved out at tender age of 20, and happily lived on my own after finishing college.

I organised myself trips, I went abroad, I went back to my country of origin to travel across and visit my family which whom we never had any contact due to whatever.

My freedom was always making my own decisions that led to positive things. As everyone else making mistakes was no stranger to me (especially concerning one absolute ‘bag of D’s’ as my little sis likes to call it, but lets move on).

Therefore when my husband said to me recently that it all seems so bizarre, I seriously wondered what can he mean, and I asked. He replied:

“I just can’t believed we’re married and pregnant, going to have our little family. We rent this house and we’re about to get a car. You were so free and independent when we first met, you know?”

Well, we are in our mid twenties, and yes, all this is happening, and yes, people wonder and ask, but is it really so hard to understand? I am still free! And definitely still independent.

Yes, I do have responsibilities, so does he, but I always did. I lived independently, not in a shared accommodation but in a modest yet not small flat and I was happy.  I made my decisions and I am satisfied with them and their consequences. I am free to live nice and peaceful life.

You know people often tend to mix two very different words: freedom and lawlessness which is simple lack of restrained. I do think that one can be wild and wise at the same time.

Here I am, this free and independent young woman, who either ever was in education or worked, about to have my family extended. I am ‘adulting’ and I believe I’m doing it quite well at that! I’m going to be out of work for a little while with the arrival of our baby. I do say it was a difficult decision to make, due to the fact that I am a working professional and I worked hard to get my qualifications and skills where I have them now. Yet, I am choosing to step down and become a housewife. How odd.

When I was thinking about it image of a bird came to mind. A little bird which caged itself.

The little bird grows and becoming stronger fighting its way out of the cage that did not feel like home for a long time. The little creature tried to weave its own nest. It was pretty and just enough but it did not feel right, not like it should have. The bird have found its mate and they chose to build a new nest together. They flew into a cage, this time it was without force and with opened hatch. Not to run away when things get tough but because they can. Cage provides security and peace, and open hatch provides opportunity to stretch cramped necks and stiff wings. They are still birds, they have feathers and light bones to fly. They could fly away if they wanted, however some birds choose to remain in their cages or on their branches. You just need to treat them right.

It is mind that is to be free, if your mind is free then you can accomplish anything you desire.

Let me know what you think! Chat later!

This escalated quickly

Nothing like a good family row huh?

Especially if it’s on a damn group chat, that you started so that family living all around the continent can communicate. Great. Just wonderful.

Let me give you a quick backstory. My dad is having two weeks off work. He was sending us picks from one of his long walks. It was lovely weather and we all enjoyed pretty flowers on our screens. I say all but maybe not…

Mother: That’s what your father does – either he’s away on walks or in front of laptop.

Brother (27year old with fiance and a baby son): Erm… That’s grand mum, but we would rather if you guys resolved your problems in private not a family chat lol

Mother: You’re too much of a puppy dog [ps big insult in where we’re from] to tell me such things son! Besides I meant it as a joke.

Bro: it didn’t look like a joke ect., ect.

There it continues for a while with my older sis joining in having his back. I agree with my siblings on that too.

And then our dad finally seen the damn thing and goes:

Dad: Well darling I didn’t interpret it as a joke either. Let’s remember we’re all to respect each other, children parents and vice-versa. Honey, I also don’t appreciate anyone calling our son puppy dog, even you since it inclines that you as his mother are a bitch and of course I won’t be having that.
Well. Shots fired! It railed into a rather heated argument which ended with me and my sister leaving the family chat all together.

Problem being not that small and insignificant dispute but rather something much greater, emotions hiding beneath. There are underlying BIG problems in this family, forgive me for omitting details. Seems like this was just last drop in the ocean of grief and therefore inevitable finally happened and people snapped.

By the end of that week my lil 13year-old sister moved in with me and my husband, my dad gave mother ultimatum of rehab or divorce, she tried to manipulate him and ended up in hospital with OD, which thankfully didn’t affect my dad’s decision.

On top of that there were other things but they all seem so insignificant in comparison, won’t you agree?

On more happy note, me and hubby are getting a car Yey! 😁 

Who needs TV when your life is as exciting as any drama can be? 😉

Thoughts of mum-to-be: when you tell them

Good day to you all!

I’ve decided to share couple of my more random thoughts today.

I am soon to be mama. A fact.

Married not for that long. A fact.

Young enough. An opinion.

All good and nice. When you finally decide to share with the world your good news (the fact that you already are pregnant, or trying) it more or less looks like this:

What it sounds – ‘Hey how are you? Yes, we are trying for a baby!’

What it feels like it sounds – ‘Hey! We are having very regular and ridiculously calculated sex in order to pass our genetic material!’

And when you finally conceive:

What it sounds – ‘Hey! We are pregnant!’

What it feels like it sounds – ‘Hey! We had sex successfully, and both of us are fertile! Congrats to us for not failing at reproduction!’

Yup. So now you know it, just in case you didn’t.

Laters!

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